EDITOR'S NOTE: In October 2021 I began a new venture writing a newspaper column titled "Finding Faith" for the Forum Communications Co. network of newspapers and websites. I was asked to contribute to the company's ongoing conversation about faith, lending a Lutheran and fairly ecumenical approach to the discussion. The column was published in several of the company's papers and websites, including The Forum of Fargo-Moorhead. This column originally appeared as a "Finding Faith" column on June 30, 2023.
By The Rev. Devlyn Brooks
I stood before my congregation, more self-conscious than I had been in forever, with this running through my head: “I wonder if they’ve ever thought about the fact that their pastor has toes?”
Ridiculous, right? … After all, shouldn’t a pastor’s mind be focused on the worship ahead during the pianist’s prelude?
But, no, I was pondering how my congregation was reacting to my preposterous outfit of summer dress shorts and open-toed sandals.
Life happened that day, and I wasn’t able to get home to change before our Wednesday night summer service. So, rather than be late, or cancel service, I deemed it better to go as I was: short sleeves, hairy legs and ugly toes bare for all to see.
Thankfully, my congregation and I have history going for us. We’ve been through some life together, cycles of joy, sorrow and everything in between over nearly seven years. And so I chose to preside over service, just as I was rather than cancel because of some arbitrary dress code for pastors.
After all, isn’t that what grace is? … Don’t we preach to “come as you are?”
On my drive home after service, those were my thoughts: If, after this long as my congregation’s pastor, I was worried about how parishioners might react to the one time that I’ve shown up in shorts and sandals out the past 350ish times I’ve presided over worship … then just how might those unknown to our congregation might feel about showing up?
The human desire to fit in is mighty powerful. Even for those who are perceived to have some kind of agency in this world. Pastors, for instance.
I dwelled on what that powerful drive not to stick out in a place of worship must feel like to the tens of millions of folks who find themselves too self-conscious over their appearances, their marital status, their poverty, their doubt, their sexual identity, their skin color, their physical abilities or any of the laundry list of other characteristics that we use to create distinctions among people.
Now, you might think the story about my ugly toes, and my subsequent ruminations over how we struggle in our places of worship with inclusiveness are a stretch. After all, how do we get from a few, gross-looking toenails to shunning those on the margin?
The answer: shame.
We have built a shame society, and we use shame as a powerful exclusionary tool, even in the church.
And so, imagine if I, after seven years of walking alongside my congregation, dread what my parishioners might think of my ugly toes, can you imagine how extremely difficult it is for someone, who’s been told all their life that they are not worthy of God’s love, to walk into a place of worship?
As faithful people, we’ve got to do better.
Devlyn Brooks is an ordained pastor in the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, and serves Faith Lutheran Church in Wolverton, Minn. He also works for Forum Communications Co. He can be reached at devlynbrooks@gmail.com for comments and story ideas.
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