I will be the first to admit that I often don't reach out to others in times of need.
There's many factors that influence that but having grown up essentially raising myself from a young age, and also being a natural-born caretaker, I generally find myself the one taking care of others. ... And stuffing my own junk way deep down inside.
Thankfully, four plus years in seminary and a whole lot of work on my baggage has helped me to learn that sometimes I just gotta let the sh$t go. ... And today, when I sensed a double whammy of a church issue and a parental issue chewing up my insides, I recognized that I need to get it out. ... But it wasn't easy.
When I first picked up the phone this afternoon to reach out to a couple of pastor colleagues about an issue at church, I started dialing the phone a couple of times, only to delete the numbers because I didn't want to bother my also-busy pastoral colleagues. ... Eventually, on the third ring, the first friend picked up and graciously welcomed the call. He patiently waited, listened to me talk everything out ... and said, "Well, what does your gut tell you?"
And with that invitation, I poured out the contents of my heart to him. ... And his follow-up was, "Then just tell them that." ... He exuded kindness and patience, and the call was extremely beneficial.
As for the second pastoral colleague, she was busy when I tried text, but asked if she could call back in 20 minutes. ... And she did, on the button.
I explained the situation a second time, this time with the added benefit of having explained it once already. And then she went on to give some great practical advice that I could bring to the situation as well. And right there, in a couple of 20-minute conversations, one pastoral colleague helped me talk out my feelings about the issue, and the second gave me some practical advice as to how to put my feelings in action.
And I couldn't have done it without both of their critical conversations.
A few hours later, I had to drop something by a friend's house. And kudos to them, but when I walked in they could tell something was on my mind. And the wife of the dynamic duo was like: "OK, spill the beans. Let's go. Talk." ... And to my surprise, given such an invitation, I did. I spilled all of my frustration over the handling of our senior son's football season by our state high school athletics association and our school. Days and weeks of frustration over how this football season has been handled by the adults in charge poured out, and I raged for 30 minutes. All the while, the husband/wife combo just kept patiently pulling it out of me like it was one, long, ugly tape worm hiding in my heart and soul.
The conversation was so effective that later tonight when I got home, I texted them to thank them for the "free therapy session," partly in jest but also as a compliment. I was very grateful, and was unaware of how much I needed to get that off my papa bear's heart.
And my friends texted back: "That's what friends are for!"
Indeed. ... And the older I get, the more I realize that they are worth their weight in gold.
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