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Finding Faith ... in a first Mother's Day without our mom



Happy Mother’s Day Mom! 


Such a strange feeling to be writing to you this year, versus having dinner with you and being surrounded by all of the people you love. Even more strange to think that we’re still living through so many “firsts” without you, as it sure feels like we said goodbye so much longer than just last August.


Time is funny that way, when you miss someone, I guess. Some days, it feels like just yesterday that I would hear it from you at the end of the day if I missed one of your phone calls. And now we haven’t had a nightly call in more than three-fourths of a year.


I suppose this mourning is a bit selfish of me. I know that while we miss you this Mother’s Day, for you it’s the first one that you’ve gotten to celebrate with Michael and Dan and Dave in heaven. And I know that that must be such a wonderful party for you! Being with your two oldest children, and your son-in-law, together on Mother’s Day! What a special day this must be for you!


I puttered in the backyard for a while today, prettying up the campfire patio area that you loved so much. And I thought about how nice it would be to have one more fire with you here. Drag out a radio so that you could listen to the Twins on, and I’d crack a frosty Coors beer for you. Now that would be a fitting way to celebrate Mother’s Day with you! … I promise, the pups and I will do just that for you this summer, Mom … build a campfire, put the Twins on the radio and crack a cold Coors in your honor!



For me, I’m not quite sure how to spend this first Mother’s Day without you. Shelley is with her family for their annual trip to their ancestral homelands, which leaves me at home with just the pets.


Gus Gus and Howie are snoozing away, one to the left of me, the other to the right. And they’re sticking closer than normal today. I know that’s your influence, telling those puppers to stick close and keep an eye on me. You always did have a special connection with our dogs, and they loved it when you came to visit because that always meant extra treats they weren’t supposed to have!


I guess, now that I think about it, you didn’t get to meet Howie. You would have loved this crazy little bugger, and I know that he would have loved you! … He is a mischievous one, Mom! Always looking for something to be chewing on, including Gus Gus, who is not necessarily a big fan of that! But, at other times, he’s also a cuddler when he wants to be. He loves the belly scratches, and he’s learning to play fetch with a ball, which is a first for dogs in this family! And, yes, he would have adored the Gramma that would have sneaked him treats all the time!


We still have both cats as well, even the grumpy Little Girl who loved to climb on your lap. Ginger is growing wiser by the year, and still keeps a check on everyone’s emotional health. At the slightest sign of distress, he’s there providing immediate stress relief. And Little Girl still just struts around the house bossing everyone around. You’d still be amused by her!


You probably already know this, but my book was finally published. I was thinking the other night that given the timing of the book rolling off the press in early May, I likely would have saved a copy to give you as a surprise on Mother’s Day. And I know just how thrilled you would have been, and how you would have drug me around to all your neighbors to show off that book. I guess I’ll have to wait a while now to know what you think of the book, but I do know that you would have been so proud. And that makes my heart grow.


The family is all doing so well! … We’re all getting so excited for Garrett and Anna’s wedding in September. I know that there will be some tears that day because your chair will be empty, and you would have especially loved being there for that special grandson that called you, “Granny!” … I can’t wait to see all of the kids dressed up in their suits and dresses. They are going to be a handsome looking bunch! It would have been the kind of day you lived for! All about family!


Yeah, time marches on, and Garrett and Anna aren’t the only kiddos growing up on us. Carter just finished up his junior year of college and will be working his second summer in a professional sports internship, and Ava is a year post-graduation and still chasing her cowgirl dreams. (And, oh, by the way, she also has found the love of her life, Hunter, who has slid right into the family. You’d like him, Mom. She caught a good one! And you would have cooed about how handsome he is! I can hear it in my mind!) And Siri is just finishing up her sophomore year in school. … Time just flies. In a couple of years, life is going to look a lot different for Shelley and I. 


Well, I guess I’ll wrap up. As much as we all have missed you down here today, I know that you’ve had a blessed day with your boys up there. And that helps dry the tears a bit … Thank you for making us the luckiest bunch of kids this side of heaven, Mom! Happy Mother’s Day!


Love … Dev




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