Contrary to what most people probably think, it takes a lot of emotional and spiritual energy for me to "people."
And what do I mean by "people" as in a verb or action? Well, for me, it includes about everything related to being around other people, including physical presence, talking and emoting.
You see, I am a hardcore introvert, which is defined as a "shy, reticent person." Make no mistake, I like other people plenty, but I have to expend energy -- all kinds of various energy -- to interact with people, especially in an ongoing situation.
I know that both of my career choices -- a journalist and pastor -- may seem odd choices for someone who finds personal interaction so taxing, but I've gotten very good over the years at knowing when I have to be "on stage," as I call it. And this is just about any time that a conversation goes past the pleasantries of a greeting and a few socially acceptable questions.
Beyond that, however, the emotional, mental and spiritual energy it takes me to be in relationship with others is heavy. Whereas extroverts feed off the energy of others, us introverts have to give up energy to others. Or, as I often describe it for others, I have to put on a show. I have to be gregarious and inquisitive Devlyn, because that is what the social situation calls for.
But that takes a lot of work for me, and the cost is that I become weary, in all senses of the word: physically, mentally emotionally and spiritually. And the only way to charge back up is to hide away from people for an extended period of time.
You can about imagine how this goes in a marriage where I am married to an extreme extrovert!
Well, over the past few months, I've been putting in a lot of extra face time with people at my day job at the media start-up company I founded, and also at the church as we are in the Lenten season, one of the two busiest season of the church year for pastors.
And there are still a good three weeks left until we roll through Holy Week. So knowing I had reached the end of my socialization gas tank, and knowing also that I still have a couple of long and important stretches of "peopling" to do both at my day job and in my pastoral life in the two months, I decided to take Saturday and Sunday off from people as best I could.
Now, remember, I still have a spouse and two daughters at home. So it's not like I can become a complete hermit, and cut off the entire world. And besides, running a media start-up and being a pastor don't lend themselves to the luxury of cutting yourself off from the wider world every easily.
But, for me, I whittled my time online checking email and working on writing projects, set my phone on vibrate so that I needed to take the bare minimum of calls, and for two days I watched a lot of television, worked out and talked with Shelley. We did venture out briefly on Saturday to see our daughter ride barrels at the local horse arena and grab lunch. But the we were back home quickly and in our comfortable clothes for the rest of the weekend.
It also happened to be my one Sunday off in March, and so while Shelley and our youngest daughter attended church on Sunday, and our older daughter was off riding horses, I was blissfully at home all by myself. Four several hours, in fact, until Shelley and our youngest got home.
But even then, the rest of the day, we watched basketball and our current favorite TV series on binge mode. And that was it. ... Well, I did make an exception to answer a call from my mother, but that's hard to get away from!
And that was my sabbath time this weekend. I appreciate being of an age where I know what I need to care for myself and also that I don't feel the need to explain that to many. Shelley understands it when I go into that mode. ... Well, if not understands it, at least she is used to it.
We all sabbath in different ways. I know for others -- like Shelley -- it's about being by water. Nothing restores her like being at the lake. And still for others it can be a myriad of things, working in a garden, going for walks or hikes, being with their pets, horseback riding. There's anything number of things that others use for sabbath.
Sure, there are activities that I like to do in my sabbath time, such as reading, writing or even walking the dogs. But for me, it's not the activity that is restorative as much as it is that I am alone. And I am not having to expend my energies on "peopling."
I am grateful for this past weekend, and I know it's what I needed to get through this next stretch run of work and pastoral duties. So, today, I am finding faith in my sabbath time, which for me is downtime without me having to be social.
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